May 102015

Uberkinky Ring of TearsThe UberKinky Ring of Tears is a really brutal looking nipple clamp.

It consists of a heavy metal ring with five thick screws all around the exterior. The idea is that you stick a nipple in the middle and screw the screws in, causing some serious pain for the nipple you’re doing it to. The Ring of Tears not only looks painful, but the name also lends to the idea that it will be excruciating.

In use though, the Ring of Tears didn’t really do much for me. For a start, I found it really hard to put on. In theory, it seemed easy; unscrew the screws, put a nipple in the center, screw them back up. But I have really flat, average sized nipples, and the depth of the ring is fairly thick. So for me to get it on, I had to grab my nipple and pull it up and through the center. Then, for it to fully grip my nipple and cause any level of pain, all the screws needed to be done up completely.

I have huge breasts, I guesstimate I’m about an Australian 18H, so I have plenty of skin when laying down to yank my nipple up and through. Though it’s still fairly fiddly trying to get my fingers through the hole and pull my nipple up.

The weight of the clamp is nice, but I think it would benefit from being a bit thinner, so it’d be easier to place your nipple in it. If you have small nipples I think you’d struggle a lot with this clamp. I struggled, and almost gave up, and my boobs allow for a fair amount of pull.

When you look at the Ring of Tears it seems like it’d be great for slowly torturing a nipple, whereas needing it done up all the way means that isn’t how it works. Reality doesn’t live up to expectation here. 

Once I’ve finally struggled to get it on, my nipple kinda just gets squished horizontally between all the tips. It brings on some level of pain for me, but nothing very intense, certainly not unbearable, and nowhere near close to tears. If I lay down with it on, I don’t even notice it, until I sit up and the pressure from my breasts weight is applied, then it’s too intense. So I need to loosen it, but then the clamp falls off. I can’t win.

If I pull on it the pain increases, and it successfully stays attached even when pulled on, which is appreciated. The Ring of Tears doesn’t cut the circulation as much as more classically shaped nipple clamps, but it still hurts when it’s been removed. My nipples do feel more sensitive afterward, but not the same “OH MY GOD DON’T TOUCH MY NIPPLE, I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU TOUCH MY NIPPLE RIGHT NOW” pain that tweezer clamps leave me with.

The Ring of Tears comes in a little ziplock baggy, and it’s a singular item. You only get one clamp. Which is a bit annoying for the price; £19. If you buy two, you get an 11% discount, but that’s still £17.99 per clamp. It does feel and look to be high quality, but I’m not sure if that justifies the price for me.

The UberKinky Ring of Tears didn’t work well for me. If you have large, or sensitive nipples, they might work better. I also imagine they’d be easier to handle if someone else was putting them on you. But as is, if you’ve got average sized, or small nipples, that aren’t very sensitive, the Ring of Tears probably won’t bring you, or your partner, anywhere close to tears.


I was sent this product in exchange for my honest review.

 Posted by at 12:54 am

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