Jul 052015

Primal Hardwere Pride

Did you know cats don’t ovulate like humans do? They need to be triggered, which is why male cats have a barbed penis; upon removal it catches and triggers the Queen to ovulate. BOOM! We’re learning already.

Primal Hardwere is one of a small handful of fantasy toy makers. They specialise in the more unusually inspired dildos, like tentacles, ovipositors and horse cocks. The Pride from Primal Hardwere comes in both dildo and “wereable” options, and is based on a cats penis.

The wereable version is meant to be placed over a dick. The dildo is just the wereable, but designed for easier solo use. However, there’s no reason you couldn’t get the wereable and slip it over another dildo when there’s nobody around to help you out. PH even sell a basic silicone insert for that exact reason. I received the dildo version, but I definitely plan on purchasing a wereable next time I have a partner with a cock.

The Pride consists of a long shaft, with spines on the head. About halfway down there’s a small increase in girth and a few more spines on either side. The base has some nice plump, dangly balls; they look a little weird, but I like them nonetheless.

Like most fantasy toy companies, Primal Hardwere offers customization. Unlike others though, they don’t offer different sizes. Which sucks for people who have petite orifices, but awesome for people who revel in bigger toys. Pride has 8 inches insertable length, and a maximum girth of 5.9 inches around the shaft spines. Those spines start 5 inches down. The rest of the shaft is about 5.4 inches in circumference.

They do still have options when it comes to firmness and colouration though, which is the best part. I chose to get my Pride in medium firmness, as this is my first toy from them and medium seems to work well as a starting point with fantasy companies. If it’s too soft you can always get firm next time, or if it’s too hard you know to get something softer. Personally, I’d say unless you love squishy-as-heck toys, medium is perfect. I think firm would be too harsh for me, and I think I have a pretty hardcore vag, so unless you’re sure about your love of extreme, unrelenting texture, medium would be the way to go.

For the colours I gave the folk at PH a lot of artistic licence. I told them I would love something that was warmer colours, like oranges or yellows, or glow-in-the-dark. They ran with it really well and I received a beautiful yellow and orange cat penis, with a metallic marbled base. My Pride also glows in the dark very, very lightly. It’s not super bright, and it took me a while to realize, but when I did I couldn’t sleep because I was too distracted from staring at the gently glowing shaft on my bedside table.

I’ve always been intrigued by cat penises. Which sounds dodgy, but once I found out that they had sharp barbs on them, I wondered what a spiky head would feel like. I imagined the spines, in the form of a nice silicone dildo, would feel scrapey but very stimulating. And I was right.

The spines on Pride are fairly soft, even in medium firmness. They easily fold under my finger and don’t feel stabby, or like they’re going to slice me open. They look bigger than they are, from my measurements they’re only 2-3mm long. The head is pointed, but even when inserted as far as I can get it, I barely feel it on my cervix. I think the thin tip folds with pressure rather than stabbing me. Thank God for silicone.

When it comes to insertion, I find the Pride to be easy. I’m accustomed to large dildos, and Pride is no challenge, even with the intense texture. As soon as the spines hit my vulva I become acutely aware of them in the best way possible. I can feel the constantly and it feels really, really good. It rubs my G-spot and grabs at it with its barbs. The spines feel exactly as I imagined they would. They’re obvious, they drag, and it’s almost as if I can feel every individual one. Even as I’m thrusting at full speed, at no point does the sensation dull.

The shaft is textured, almost skin-like in its roughness. I originally thought the texture may have been a side-effect of 3D printing, but it turns out PH toys are sculpted by hand; all the details are totally intentional, and any “imperfections” are due to the nature of hand sculpting. I like when dildos have some light shaft texture because I find it stimulates me more. It makes them grab my walls better, and I love that, but it does mean quite a lot of lube is needed to make comfortable thrusting possible. A high-quality water-based lube is ideal. I know some people find that this sort of texture will rub them raw, so if you’re one of them, you’d either need excessive lube, or to stay away.

About midway down the shaft there is a few more spines, and I feel them. I didn’t notice until I concentrated, but when I did I was blown away from just how much extra stimulation they bring. The shaft is long, and I can only really insert to this part, so they tickle my labia and vaginal opening when I thrust. It sends little shivers through my vulva and I adore it. The stimulation I get from these spines is very similar to the sensation I feel from the ridge on the Tantus Cush 02. In combination with the spiky head deep inside me, my entire vaginal region feels included.

Then there’s the balls. I expected the base to be uncomfortable, as I find large bases to be a pain to hold. Seriously, they make my hand cramp and I lose my grip. But surprisingly I don’t get that with the Pride. The base is actually fairly thin between the very base of the shaft, and where the balls hang. This means they bend out of the way. I usually place my pinky finger just over the edge above the left testicle, and because of how thin this area is, my pinky isn’t stretched awkwardly. The balls are totally out of my way, and I can still get a good grip around the top half of the base. And the balls slap against my ass. Which, for the record, I think is hot as hell, and it brings even more stimulation. Apparently I’m a sucker for external stim all over my genitals.

Speaking of all over my genitals, rubbing the head over my clitoris feels damn good too.

I haven’t used this anally yet, as I’m not sure I would enjoy the intensity of the texture there, but because of the large base it’s totally safe to. It also fits remarkably well in a harness, though it does droop. The length also lends well to riding. Some toys are frustrating to ride because they’re just too short to do anything, but there’s no such problem with the Pride.

Like all silicone dildos, it can be easily cleaned with soap and water. It can also be sterilized with a 10% bleach solution, or by boiling for a few minutes. Even though there’s lots of texture, it’s simple to clean; I’ve not had any issues with gunk sticking and only showing up once it’s dried.

Primal Hardwere’s Pride dildo is a wonderful, unique silicone creation. It’s intense in all the right ways, and anyone who loves texture will likely enjoy the feeling the spiny head provides. It’s not for the faint of heart. Even if it were in soft, I believe it would still be a very intense toy, so if highly textured toys, or scrapey sensations don’t do it for you, the Pride won’t be your cup of tea. But for me, it’s definitely become one of my favourite fantasy toys.



I was sent this product in exchange for my honest review

 Posted by at 12:59 am

  2 Responses to “Review: Primal Hardwere Pride”

  1. Hello,

    is possible buy this dildo ?

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