Sleipnir is an eight-legged horse. He is the son of Loki and his stallion lover Svaðilfari. I know kneigh-thing else about it, and what I do know I just read off Google; all I care about is the human/beasts magical eight-legged lovechild Horse-Gods penis. Or an interpretation of it, anyway.
Bad Dragon, being the wonderfully perverted company they are, have produced a truly amazing and Godlike toy in the Sleipnir. It lives up to its namesake and provides an experience I’ve not had the joy of feeling before.
I asked for my Sleipnir in a size medium (read: very large) as well as in medium firmness. Sleipnir is a hefty 8 inches in circumference all the way down, with small variances. There’s some texture; beautiful ridges on the bottom half of the shaft, bumps down the underside, light bulges around the rest of the shaft and a glorious ridge at the top. Horse dicks are traditionally blunt-headed with little to no taper and Sleipnir doesn’t differ from this standard. There’s a mild dome and that’s all the taper you get. Sleip gets straight to business.
I used to really dislike the pop toys will sometimes make during insertion, but not with Sleipnir. The medium firmness is softer than your average silicone, and my preferred firmness with Bad Dragon toys. It’s fairly squishy even though it’s so thick, which helps make insertion comfortable. Alongside plenty of lube Sleipnir NEEDS warm up of some sort. I’m a Size Queen and can insert large toys after a couple orgasms with no real vaginal warm up, but that is not the norm. PLEASE make sure to take your time with large toys like Sleipnir, not doing so can really, really hurt.
The ridge around Sleipnirs head squishes down a bit as I push it into my vag, but then it pops in full force. It’s intense and I love it.
Because Sleipnirs shaft is nearly the same width from the top of the head right to the base, it gives a truly filling feeling. Normally with thick toys they are thinner in some areas, and the head is usually significantly smaller, Sleipnir doesn’t have this. As I push it in, I feel stretched. At my opening and deep inside. It stretches me and stuffs me full. When the head pushes against my cervix it isn’t so bad; the head is flat and squishy so it doesn’t stab me, but there’s an overwhelming feeling of fullness that is. So. Damn. Good. It’s my favourite thing about Sleipnir.
When I thrust, the head rubs against my insides, and for a toy that is otherwise not overly interesting – the underside texture isn’t very obvious to me in the medium squish, and faces away from my G-spot anyway, is more than enough to keep me interested.
Sleipnir has a fair amount of heft to it. It’s not light and can get cumbersome to thrust by hand, which is why I will ride it any chance I have. It’s more than long enough for me to have it inserted and ride it deep, while heavy enough not be a pain in the cooch due to accidentally picking it up with my vag. It can also feel great used without movement, just as a massive plug to clench around alongside a vibe on my clit.
I can reach the very first ridge, and I do feel it slightly. It’s not a blatantly obvious but adds a little something that makes using Sleipnir extra special. If you have a long vaginal canal or are using it anally I think the ridges would be super rad and add that bit of stimulation to your opening as they pull and push past it that would really put the icing on the cake.
I also got my Sleipnir with a cumtube. Cumtubes are exactly what they sound like; a hole and tube down the centre of the toy and out the bottom. There’s a good length of tube that comes out and Bad Dragon provides a sterile syringe to use with their Cumlube. You fill the syringe with as much “cum” as you desire, it can hold up to 60mL, put the tube on the tip of the syringe, and then can push it through the tube and into you at any time you want. I personally find that feeling the ejaculation is not easy, but the way it slowly drips out of me while riding and lubes me up internally is glorious.
I’ve got another cumtubed toy that I bought a while ago, and I still feel the same about the cumtube on Sleipnir. It’s a cool add-on, but unnecessary if you don’t have a cum kink (I do). Cleaning it just… Sucks. You have to clean the toy, then syringe a bunch of hot water through to clean the tube, then syringe some air through to blow out as many droplets as possible, then put it out in the open and leave the tube out and hanging so it can drip-dry. Not very discreet at all, but ample time-consuming.
If you live somewhere with lots of creepy crawlies, I must mention that I’ve had a horrifying experience where, as I was cleaning my Sleip of the mountains of dust and cat hair it collects, I saw that a bug had crawled its way up the hanging cumtube. And died. Eight billion gallons of water and antibacterial soap and bleach later I’d finally gotten its remains out of the tube, but I’m scarred for life nonetheless.
Having a cumtube with a large toy does have it’s benefits. If you need a lot of lube the tube is a really easy way to dispense it as you’re playing, you don’t have to pull it out to smother lube on all the time, especially handy considering Cumlube is viscous and slippery as all hell. Putting lube on initially is made somewhat easier if you’re sticking with Bad Dragon products. Cumlube has a tendency to roll off toys but if you put your hand at the cumtube opening then squirt a little through you can smear it over the toy as it’s pushed through the tip. It means less Cumlube spills all over your stuff.
I intend to do a full Cumlube review to cover all the other info on it. I can’t guarantee when it’ll be up, but if you have any questions before it is please feel free to ask in the comments or on Twitter!
Overall the cumtube often feels like a waste of time for me. I love it, I do, it’s just a lot of effort in cleaning and getting Cumlube on everything I own. Unless I’m making videos or pictures of it for someone, I don’t feel like wasting the time on something that only enhances the experience slightly.
You can use a cumtubed toy without using the tube, but you still need to squirt some water through during cleaning for any bodygoop that has gotten into the hole.
I got my Sleipnir in one of their special colourations, June’s Tricolour Alexadrite, you can see past special colours here and request them – it’s best to send a ticket in before ordering to double-check that they’re happy to do it. Otherwise Bad Dragon toys are highly customizable. Custom colours, marbles, fades. Some people have reported issues with colours not being right or not getting the quality they expected from custom-made toys, but having ordered several toys from Bad Dragon, a few custom-made, I’ve never had a problem and have only been beyond pleased with the outcome. If you don’t want the pressure of choosing a colour-scheme, or want to save some money, you can buy pre-made toys. They ship quicker due to being ready-made and they’re just as pretty. Just make sure you pay attention to size and firmness. You will, if you look enough, find what you want sooner or later. Alternatively, if you want more of a discount, you can buy flops. These are toys with minor defects that are still safe to use and sometimes the defects are barely noticeable so you’re getting a near-perfect product with a decent discount.
Sleipnir comes in several sizes. Mini, small, medium, large and extra-large. Bad Dragon toys are larger than average toys so PAY ATTENTION. Read the measurements, compare to what you have, find a household product the same size if you have to, just really think about it. Getting something too big or too small can suck.
I adore my Sleipnir. It’s not a toy I use regularly but when I do I kick myself because DAMN I should use it more. If you’re a fan of feeling stretched, full or playing with size in general, I’d highly, highly recommend adding a Sleipnir to your collection.
I was sent this product in exchange for my honest review.