Aug 122016


I have only tried one PicoBong toy before, and absolutely despised it. That toy was the Transformer, that now sits in its box hidden away from view. It is only currently in my possession because it’s good for fishing menstrual cups and sponges out of my vagina when they get stuck. I stayed reserved in my expectations for the Kiki 2. I’d been let down by the Transformer and didn’t want to get too excited for something better.

Picobong Kiki 2At first, I was blown away by the Kiki 2. On my initial test I had an awesome orgasm, from Kiki alone. I was incredibly surprised because what the hell? This tiny AAA powered thing? It’s not even rumbly! Sadly, I have not been able to replicate this. Apparently my body was in a mood and for whatever reason got along with the buzzy vibrations, but ever since it’s been totally useless.

I was left legitimately excited after my first experience with Kiki. Totally pumped I’d found another clit toy. The shape is great, I mean, the buttons annoy me but otherwise it works so well! I WAS AMAZED. The battery even lasted until I came, sometimes rechargeable toys don’t even manage that! IT WASN’T EVEN A FULLY CHARGED BATTERY. But as testing went on I was continually disappointed. The Kiki 2 stopped doing anything for me, even on the highest setting.

Undoubtedly there’s worse vibes out there, especially among the battery-operated horde, yet that doesn’t change the fact that the Kiki 2 has an unpleasant amount of buzz and there’s other vibes that are stronger. The vibrations have little depth and even though I love the shape, it’s not enough. I began to resent Kiki and its horrible vibrations after only a couple uses. It’s not even strong enough for the buzziness to numb my clit, it’s merely enough for me to be annoyed that it’s not doing anything. I can feel it on me, sitting there, doing shit all.

The Kiki 2 mocks me. It probably laughs at my pain when I’m not looking, brags to its friends, amused by how well it successfully wooed me into lust for it, only to take it away leaving me without so much as a small glimmer of hope. There wouldn’t be any rekindling of our love. Kiki knew this, all the while I was left flailing, desperately trying to replicate what we once had.

Kiki is comfy to hold. Not too big and not too small. Very close to being my perfect Goldilocks size, if it were less cylindrical it would be just right. The silicone gives some grip and doesn’t even attract excessive lint which is relatively impressive. The buttons and I have a love/hate relationship as they’re hard to locate, but once I do manage to track them down they’re easy to press and I would consider their placement to be good.

On occasion I’ve found the shape to not work for me, it’ll slip out-of-place, or be too thin, however, 9 times out of 10 the flat tip is exactly what I want. It’s not too pinpoint so I don’t have to lay the whole toy against me to get more clit coverage, yet it’s not so broad as to be difficult or unusable for those who do seek pinpoint stimulation.

IMG_5803I won’t be turning to the Kiki 2 in the future. After that initial experience it’s been nothing but a pain. I could probably manage to squeeze out an orgasm with it, in fact I know I could because that first time was great, but mostly I’m bored to death before I can peak.

There’s a lot of effort to get there when I have toys that can provide far better orgasms without me needing to will myself into coming. As soon as it’s on me I want it off, I want to grab something better. Anything remotely better. I shouldn’t need to have such extreme patience and dependence on circumstance to get off with a vibe; And this is coming from someone who generally takes 30 minutes to an hour and a half to orgasm from vibrators on their own. Even I, Most Patient Vibrator-Induced Orgasm Seeker, can’t tolerate Kiki long enough to stick in there. I tried my best, again and again, but I could not succeed.

As seems to be the trend with toys I’ve tested lately, the price is somewhat baffling. Kiki is not worth its AUD$55 pricetag. If you want to spend a bunch of money on a vibe, save a little longer and spring for a We-Vibe Tango or Touch. The vibrations are glorious, rumbly and you don’t have to keep up with batteries. If you want a buzzy clit vibe, you’d have better luck with your average run-of-the-mill bullet.

 Disclaimer time

I don’t want to be writing this review. I do not want to send any traffic toward Lelo at all. The bullshit they’ve pulled with their Hex condom advertising choices, in using a known abuser as their ambassador, has fucked me right off. I am pissed and I don’t want this review on my site. There will be links in here to PicoBong, which is an offshoot of Lelo.  I am only putting them in because it’s part of the obligation I have for having received the product. I will keep them to the bare minimum.

They have one toy I love, the Siri 2, and I understand if you still want to purchase from them, you have every right to spend your money how you want. I’ve always thought boycotting big companies is relatively pointless and silly, so I’m not going to jump on any of those bandwagons. I do however encourage you to, if you want to buy a Lelo toy, to purchase it from a quality, trustworthy retailer instead of them. It’s not much, but it’s something.

Despite my negative feelings toward them, this review is as unbiased as possible. I had mostly finished testing the Kiki 2 and taking notes before they fucked up.

I was sent this product in exchange for my honest review.

Affiliate links have been used.

 Posted by at 9:59 pm

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