Dec 022017


Quirky design is what Hole Punch Toys are known for. A large helping of fun with your sex utensils. There’s toys shaped like ice cream, a rocket ship, vegetables. Or the one I’m reviewing today, The Serpent and The Rat, which has a snake head… as well as a rat noggin.

If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you are likely unaware that I’m quite the fan of rats. I currently have 21 furry rat children that I absolutely adore. I’ve a rat on my chest as I write this. When asked if I’d be interested in reviewing The Serpent and The Rat, I simply couldn’t say no.



The Serpent and The Rat is truly one-of-a-kind. It’s a double-ended dildo, one end has a snake and the other a rat, as the name implies. It seems a little strange at first, as to why you would put both predator and prey in one design. Curiosity is quickly quelled upon opening the package and being met with an Origin Story and illustration. One thing I appreciate and respect about Hole Punch products is that there’s so much love and thought in their work, as is made evident with everything they create, but is undeniable upon reading this beautiful story. At the time my parcel arrived, I hadn’t long had to have one of my rats put to sleep, and I definitely shed a tear while reading it.

Being double ended this is one long jiggly product. From nose tip to nose tip it measures 18 inches. The widest diameter on the snake is a decent 2 inches. While the widest diameter on the rat is 1 7/8 inches, with the majority of the shaft being 1.5 inches. I can’t help but be reminded of a nun-chuck when wielding it, and take great joy in swinging it to-and-fro with the ends wiggling spastically and threatening to whack me in the face. It’s a ton of fun and though it would be ineffective in a real fight, it’d fit right at home as a weapon for clowns. I appreciate that.

I was sent one in the colour Oxblood, a beautiful burgundy/wine red shade. If you’re Australian like myself, its about the colour of River Port Portello. Firmness wise, it’s only available in Soft, but its a fairly firm soft as compared to other indie or fantasy dildo makers. If I grab each end and pull, without much effort I can stretch it a couple inches, but simply squeezing it between my fingers doesn’t show a whole lot of give.



The smooth ridges and minimal texture on The Serpent come together to create an adorable catoony snake head, almost like an explicit rendition of Kaa from The Jungle Book.

In use, The Serpent is the end I like the least. It’s more filling but where the bulges of the snake head are, on the upper sides, isn’t ideal for me. It’s the widest point, and though its not flat, it feels like it’s stretching sidewards and it doesn’t feel right to me. It ignores the fun parts of my vagina and pokes my side walls instead. The texture being on those parts make it more obvious and it’s not enjoyable for me. When using it straight on I find it pleasurable in the same way I find having almost anything in my vagina pleasurable; there’s something in me! I like having things in my vagina! It’s nothing to write home about, it’s just… there. Could I get off with it? Yes. Do I want to? Not really.

Despite my initial disappointment I soon discovered that turning the toy so the width and texture are facing my G-spot solves the issue. The fit feels more in tune with the shape of my vagina and the details can rub and push against where I want them to. This way is great. I get all the benefits of a thicker and smoothly textured toy without being poked. The bulbous part of the head can catch my G-spot and tug it exactly the way I like.

The conical head makes insertion a breeze despite the flat and wide shape, no matter the angle it’s inserted. People who aren’t as fond of thick toys may not find it as easy, but the shape is gentle. It doesn’t threaten you with an unpleasant “pop” just trying to get any of it in.



The rat however, I enjoy completely. I’m impressed by how rat-like the head is, first and foremost. Rats are too often portrayed as large mice. When you’re a rat enthusiast like myself, the minor differences are very noticeable. It boasts the same Disney-esque style as the Serpent, and just as cute.

In my vag The Rat feels quite different. At first I struggled with it due to the point of the rat snoot because I have the tendency to thrust rapidly without much thought. I kept accidentally jabbing my cervix. Thankfully the silicone is soft, and the smaller the diameter the more pliable it is. The very tip of the rat nose is a little nub, so I could very clearly feel it poking my cervix but it wasn’t so rigid that it was horribly uncomfortable.

An upside to the length of a silicone double ended toy is that you can angle the part dangling outside your body down, which pushes the parts that are inside upwards. For me, this send that lovely dainty tip right into my A-spot, which isn’t something all toys offer. It was a bit of a struggle to adjust my movements to improve the situation, and can take some finagling, but when I do get it right, it’s fantastic.

The Rat has ridges on both the side for the eyes, and the top for the ears. This leads to it providing more overall texture and grip than The Serpent; I don’t need to change the angle of entry when I use The Rat. I’m also a huge fan of texture rubbing my vaginal opening, which the ears do wonderfully. It’s subtle but I love it.



The Serpent and The Rat is a good toy. It’s beautiful and works well for its intended purpose. The middle of the shaft has a rippled handle which provides a sturdy place to hold. Even when things are getting wetter I can still keep my grip and orientate the toy. The design may be unusual but in use it’s an easy toy that gives a smooth ride. Both ends are tapered so you’re not suddenly confronted with the max size. The silicone is smooth and once lubed up is even easier to insert because it becomes sleek as heck.

A minor downside is that, being double ended, unless you’re using it with a partner, you have one end left outside your body. If you like to thrust slowly this isn’t an issue, if you’re like me and thrust fast, it turns into a little dildo helicopter that is hilarious but doesn’t lend itself to discretion or consistent, reliable stimulation. There’s also a teeny tiny seam that is visible down the top length of the toy, but is totally incognito when inside the body.

If you’re after a non-phallic double ended toy, that isn’t overly thick and has texture without being abrasive, The Serpent and the Rat is a good choice. Double ended dildos made from quality platinum cure silicone are not the easiest to find. With this toy, not only does it fulfil that requirement, but you get a whimsical piece of art built in.




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 Posted by at 5:39 pm

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