Jul 052015

Primal Hardwere Pride

Did you know cats don’t ovulate like humans do? They need to be triggered, which is why male cats have a barbed penis; upon removal it catches and triggers the Queen to ovulate. BOOM! We’re learning already.

Primal Hardwere is one of a small handful of fantasy toy makers. They specialise in the more unusually inspired dildos, like tentacles, ovipositors and horse cocks. The Pride from Primal Hardwere comes in both dildo and “wereable” options, and is based on a cats penis.

The wereable version is meant to be placed over a dick. The dildo is just the wereable, but designed for easier solo use. However, there’s no reason you couldn’t get the wereable and slip it over another dildo when there’s nobody around to help you out. PH even sell a basic silicone insert for that exact reason. I received the dildo version, but I definitely plan on purchasing a wereable next time I have a partner with a cock.

The Pride consists of a long shaft, with spines on the head. About halfway down there’s a small increase in girth and a few more spines on either side. The base has some nice plump, dangly balls; they look a little weird, but I like them nonetheless. Continue reading »

 Posted by at 12:59 am
Mar 072015

IMG_3951Prior to receiving the Bondage Boutique Silicone Bit Gag for review, I’d only ever used one gag. I won it in a giveaway, it was a simple plastic ball gag. I was pumped, so I used it, and by the end of the session the corners of my mouth were bleeding. I did find it fairly hot, but that doesn’t change the fact that gags shouldn’t pinch and cut my mouth.

So I was looking through Lovehoney’s site and saw this gag, sent the folk over at Lovehoney an email, and they kindly sent me one for review.

The Bondage Boutique Leather and Silicone Bit Gag provided me with an entirely different, significantly more pleasant, experience.

The bit design means the edges of the bit, where the rings connect, sit far outside my mouth. This is what caused issues for me with the ball gag; the leather would pinch my mouth where it went through the ball. Having the bar means it doesn’t. There’s absolutely no uncomfortable pinching or scratching. No sliced up mouths are created as a result of using this gag. Continue reading »

 Posted by at 9:26 pm
Feb 042015

My vagina is betraying me.

I’ve come to love and crave thicker toys. When I’m looking at sizes of new dildos to add to my collection, I go for the bigger ones. Now here I am, after reviewing the average-sized Tantus Adam dildo a couple of weeks ago and loving its smaller-than-my-average size, I have the Vixen Leo in my possession and I’m smitten.

IMG_3770The Vixen Creations Leo silicone dildo is a single density, realistically styled fake cock from the same company that makes the wondrous VixSkin. They’re well-known in the blogger community for how gosh darn awesome their squishy dual-density is. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the Leo, this is my first single density Vixen toy, but I’m impressed.

For a start, the colouring? Love it. It’s a gorgeous iridescent purple marble (also has a black colour option). It sucks to take photos of but it’s absolutely beautiful. I want to look at it forever.

The silicone itself is nice and firm but still has a reasonable amount of give, more than Tantus’ normal silicone. It’s flexible without being floppy and has a suction cup which is fun to stick to things and flick it so it bounces around. I stuck Leo to my plain ol’ painted wall and it stayed for 3 days before I needed to take it off to test it again. The dildo itself is too short for me to bother using it hands free, my booty is too big. If that’s your jam though, the suction cup is good. I’ve spent some time gently pulling on it with my hand to see if it’d hold up, and it does. Too much will pull it off, but unless your hole has a super grip it should be fine.

It is small for me. The insertable length is nice at just over 6 inches and the girth doesn’t get any higher than 5 inches circumference around the coronal ridge. The shaft is a smidge smaller than the head, giving it a nice protrusion that provides surprisingly awesome internal stimulation.

So, as it turns out, I can enjoy smaller toys. The Vixen Leo has fucking schooled me.  Continue reading »

 Posted by at 3:41 pm
Nov 282014

IMG_2943Ahhhh, we’ve all heard about the wonders of the almighty glycerin- and paraben-free Sliquid. I’d been putting off buying some to try it out for myself, it’s kinda expensive ($19.95 for 255ml at Lovehoney) and I couldn’t bring myself to spend that much on lube when I already had lube that worked just fine.

I’ve been using the same lube since I got my first sex toy. I knew I’d need lube because my first toy was a dildo and aside from fingers I’d never had anything in me. I had no clue what was good and what wasn’t, so I asked mum who told me her preferred lube and I went with that one. I ventured out once and bought a different blend from the same company and hated it, so I decided to stick with the first one forever. So aside from these two lubes I had no idea. Except for that I hate runny lube. Runny lube is horrible.

Eventually what convinced me was that if I’m going to preach about safe toys, I should also be able to talk about body-friendly lubes. And so I bit the bullet and got myself some.

I read a few reviews, Sliquid Sassy seems to be the fave, but I wanted to try the H2O and decide for myself.

Sliquid H2O is a water-based lube (duh) and comes in either a 125 or 255ml bottle. I have the 125ml and it’s honestly kinda cute. It’s the perfect size to have sitting next to me when I’m jacking off and fits nicely in one hand. I expected the cap to be a pain in the ass, dripping lube everywhere, thankfully that’s not the case. It’s easy to flip open and doesn’t let more than you need out. I also appreciate that it’s not stupid gendered packaging.

Sliquid H2O is the slightly thinner relative of Sassy, both are 100% glycerin- and paraben-free as well as vegan. Glycerin in lubes could possibly cause yeast infection in more sensitive individuals. Parabens are preservatives that some people can have reactions to. If you have sensitive skin and find that average lubricants cause some irritation, pick up some Sliquid.

There’s only a handful of ingredients in Sliquid; Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners), Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid (100% Vegan)

Their name is appropriate, Sliquid is nothing less than super slick. It’s slippery but not so slippery it runs off my toys. I don’t have to rush to get the toy over me to avoid getting lube on the bed, not that it would matter too much, Sliquid is non-staining. There’s no smell and much to my surprise, no discernible taste. I’d read other reviews which all said it was tasteless, but I didn’t believe it. I thought maybe they’re just saying that because there’s not much taste, but no, seriously, it’s tasteless. This means it’d be awesome for any time lube and oral are involved.

Sliquid H2O feels really, really good. The consistency along with the lack of chemicals lend it to feel natural. I didn’t think that using all natural ingredients could cause such a drastic difference in feel, but it does. It mixes well with my natural lubrication and never feels sticky. When I’m done, I don’t feel like I need to shower and scrub my skin to get the lube remnants off. It just soaks in leaving no sign it was ever there. I do find I have to reapply it, but it’s so slick in the first place that when I do, I don’t have to use much. It can be easily reactivated with saliva which helps extend the time-frame before reapplication is necessary.

For extended jack-off sessions I prefer something longer lasting and thicker (which is where Sassy comes in), but for most people I think it’d be fine. It works better for penetrative activities as then it has something to mix with and doesn’t dry up as quickly, but also works well externally, just be prepared to reapply more often.

You can get your hands on Sliquid H2O and other Sliquid products at Lovehoney.


I’ll also be posting a review for Sliquid Sassy, watch this space.


 Posted by at 9:21 pm
Oct 292014

As of right now, the njoy Pure Plug is the best plug I’ve ever stuck up my butt.

My pure plug is a large. When it arrived in the mail, upon opening, my immediate reaction was that it’s not really that “large”. I’ve bigger plugs in softer materials but considering it’s steel, any larger would probably be a little daunting for me.


The large pure plug is a hefty 310 grams. The largest diameter of the bulb is 1.5″ and the insertable length is 2.75″. When I first got it, I had to warm up with fingers first before inserting, now I can insert it with some lube and a cooperative butt, without any warm up. I don’t need to use buckets of lube, only just enough, because it spreads so easily and the toy is so grip-free anyway. The material and sleekness make it slip in with relative ease.  Because of the shape, after a certain point, your butt suctions it in. There’s a nice gentle stretch and then it pops in. I generally dislike when things pop into my vagina, but my butt is different.

The pure plug just feels good. You’d think the weight of it would feel odd, but if you’re wearing it around, it’s a nice reminder that it’s there. It’s not the sort of plug you can’t really stick in and forget. The plug sits really well in the body and the base is absolute perfection. It slides right between my buttcheeks and stays there. It doesn’t dig in or cause any discomfort at all. I can walk around, sit, do the hokey-pokey, and it’s fine. The design makes the pure plug great for long term wear. The neck tapers out to a nice small diameter where it meets the base, which means that it stays in. The bulb sits in the right spot so I don’t feel like it’s constantly trying to escape like other plugs do. Continue reading »

 Posted by at 7:46 am
Oct 222014

You know when you’re a kid and you like something so much you decide you want to marry it? That’s how I feel about the Cush.

When I first discovered Tantus, I went to their site and looked through everything. Out of all the toys, the Cush 02 is the one that stood out. I have no idea why, it’s not the fanciest looking toy, it’s sure as hell not the most affordable, but I knew I needed it. After months of longing, Tantus had their 25% off all dildos sale and I couldn’t help myself, I had to get it. Along with several other toys because I have no self control.

The Cush 02 is from Tantus’ dual density “02” line of toys. It has a hard, coloured, inner core with a gloriously squishy outer layer, all made form Tantus’ completely body-safe ultra-premium silicone. Cush is a bigger toy, the circumference varying from 5.4” to 5.8”, with an insertable length of 7”. Cush comes in three colours; blue, pink and dark purple. It’s also anal safe and harness compatible.

I can’t always use the Cush from a cold start, I have to play around a bit first. I usually warm up with my Cush before moving onto the Cush to insure I don’t hurt myself. The silicone is matte and grabby so lube is a necessity.



The tip of the Cush is tapered and seems to be completely super-squish silicone (this is what I’m going to call the softer outer layer) which helps ease insertion. It’s not a big head that you force in causing a pop and you start to regret not warming up but it’s already too late. It slides in nicely, gives a good stretched feeling without being too much and that soft outer layer just feels really, really, nice.

The dual density isn’t the best part of the Cush. The best part, the thing that makes the Cush shine and makes me want to use it every time I masturbate, is the ridge. Continue reading »

 Posted by at 2:12 am